Arbiters' Child: Draft 1 Complete

I dredged up a short science-fictiony bit and put to work expanding it over the holidays. Considering it was published in a university's creative arts newsletter, I was disappointed to find so many awkward phrases yet retained their place within its margins. The fresh rewrite, easily three times the length of its predecessor, is hardly what I would consider polished, but I'm fairly confident the diction is better than before. I'm having a second pair of eyes review it tonight. Draft 2 comes soon, if Amren decides to leave me alone for an evening.